THE POINTE IN OIL CITY
Every One Of Us Is Different
Some of us are short, tall, overweight, underweight, gay, straight, transgender, have special needs … we’re all various races, we dress and look differently. There are many different types of bullying. Some are obvious, while others are more subtle. Types of bullying to look out for in your school and community include hazing, cyberbullying, and teen dating violence.
Together We Can Stop Bullying BELIEVE IN YOURSELF!
Bullying and cyberbullying know no boundaries. Popular kids can be bullied as easily as others. Just look at some of the celebrities who’ve been targeted. We can STOMP Out Bullying™ by being tolerant, kind, and respectful and STAND UP for each other. We all dance to a different drummer – but the reality is we are ALL the same because we are ALL people. No one deserves to bullied for any reason!! NO MATTER™!
“Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one’s definition of your life, but define yourself.” – Harvey Fierstein
"Watch your thoughts, they become words. Watch your words, they become actions. Watch your actions, they become habits. Watch your habits, they become character. Watch your character for it becomes your destiny." – Frank Outlaw
Are You Being Bullied? How to Deal with Bullies
Being a victim of any kind of bullying feels really bad and it’s important for you to know two things:
You’re NOT alone!
It’s NOT your fault!
So now that you know that, here’s how you can STOMP Out Bullying™:
How to Deal with Bullies: What to do
If you’re being bullied there’s a lot you can do. While different tactics work for different people, the first thing you should do is try to work it out yourself.
Depending on how bad the bullying is (and as long as you don’t feel at risk, scared, or physically threatened) you might want to try and work it out yourself – as a first step. The more empowered you are, and the more you can help yourself, the better chance you have to stop the bully If the bully doesn’t change their behavior, that’s when talking to someone else can be really helpful. The bully wants you to react. Their goal is to take away your power, make you sad and scared. And if you show them you are not sad and scared, they will often lose interest and they cannot take away your power. Remember they want to upset you constantly so you get angry. If you don’t get angry, the bully will lose their own power.
Remember that bullies are human - they eat, sleep, and live just like you do. The only difference is that you are NOT a bully! Bullies act the way they do because they lack the attention or parental love and nurturing that you have. They are insecure and bully only to feel powerful. Bullies look for a reaction from you and often lose interest if they aren't given the satisfaction of getting one.
If You Feel Safe, Here are Some Ways to Handle the Bully:
- Walk away when the bully approaches you. Try and imagine you’re walking away from a stranger. Both you and your body language will show you don’t care.
- Concentrate on thinking about something else (maybe a concert you want to go to, or a new outfit you want to buy.)
- When the bully approaches you, count to 100 and keep walking. They’ll never see how upset you are.
- Yelling STOP and walk away. Keep walking and don’t turn around no matter what they say.
- When a bully calls you a name or tells you your sneakers are ugly -- look at them in the eyes and laugh hysterically and say, "I know my sneakers are ugly." Keep laughing hysterically and walk away without any additional conversation
- When the bully harasses you and calls you names, look them in the eyes, LAUGH, and walk away without any additional conversation.
- Some great comeback lines to deal with bullies are:
- Do you feel better now?
- If you're talking about me behind my back, clearly my life is a lot more interesting than yours is!
- Let’s move on!
- You finally found something funny to say?
- I’m not sure why you keep saying these things about me, but I don’t care.
- Be really cool and stop this!
- Why are you talking to me?
- Here we go again. This is boring. Let me know when you’re done.
- I've been called worse from better.
- Wow, did you come up with that all by yourself?
- Pardon me, but you seem to think that I care.
Just walk away from the bully. Once you give your comeback line --- IT'S SO IMPORTANT to just walk away and keep walking! Do not react or respond. That's what the bully wants!
When you walk away you're taking away the bully's power!
It can be hard to remember all your good points when someone is doing their best to be negative. However, try to think of all the things you do well and remember that you are a valuable person. Thinking of how bad the bully must be feeling may also help you to stay positive.
Picture Your Bully Like This...
Picture your bully standing on their head with their body stretching – almost as if they were standing in front of a distorted mirror like the kind you see at a carnival. Listen to their voice as it comes out all distorted and warbled. And they’ve turned yellow with pink stripes. Now, who’s laughing?
Other ways to conquer your bully and throw them off track:
- By loudly saying “leave me alone”
- Say something funny
- Look them in the eye and be nice to them
- Keep out of the bully's way
- If you are afraid of your bully avoid places where your bully hangs out, or take a different route to school.
- If the bully doesn’t see you, they can’t bully you.
- Use the Buddy System against Bullies
- Bullies feel empowered to bully one person, but rarely will they bully a group. Hang out with your friends. If the bully does feel like conquering the group, walk away.
- If after using these tactics and the bullying doesn't stop, it may be time to ask for help. Don't be afraid to let someone know that you are being bullied. There are people who care about you and will help you.
- Get Help - Tell an Adult about the Bully
It may seem scary to tell someone but, telling will not only get you help, but it will also make you feel less afraid. If you are being physically bullied and are in danger you must speak with a trusted adult immediately. And if you can’t go to your parents, seek out a trusted teacher guidance counselor or school psychologist.
- If you've told a grown-up before and they haven't done anything about it, tell someone else. Tell them exactly what happened, who did the bullying, where and when it happened, how long it's been happening to you, and how it's making you feel. When you tell your teacher, guidance counselor, or school psychologist, ask them what they will do to help stop the bullying. It is their job to help keep you safe. Most adults really care about bullying and will do everything they can to help you. Keep telling until someone does help you!